I just read a Google Alert-Orkut too good to pass. Orkut is the primeval MySpace Google created back in 03-04. Most of its users are from Brazil. Actually most of YouTube users are from Brazil,too. And from Viacom.
Many Orkut users are selling their body organs in order to raise money. That is a great idea! I make nada from this blog, I'm getting closer to the end of my life than I am to its beginning. So there come my ads, in an experimental trial. Should you mail me and show interest, I will make sure I post on Orkut.
• For sale: both my auditory organs. In good condition, slightly clogged. Nothing a doctor can't solve. Slightly deaf. Anybody who listened to rock and roll and taught elementary school brats knows what I mean.
• For sale. One eye. Iris is brown. Myopia and astigmatism. If Sammy Davis Junior survived with one eye, why not me, especially in the days of karaoke?
• For sale. My left hand. No hair grew on it, perfect size for a woman. Nice manicure. Some numbness, nothing an orthopædic doctor cannot heal. Since the numbness is a back problem, who knows the hand will be just perfect?
• For sale . Both knees. These are shot. Arthroses and menisci. One was operated on. Ha! I ain't tellin' which one. I want plastic ones, anyway.
• For sale. Both hips. I have reached an age,35, when I can replace them. Worn from grinding to rock and roll, samba and you-know-what. Advantageous to stiff dancers.
• One kidney. I never drank anything other than water. It's in perfect condition. That'll save me money I spend o Depends©. Will consider trading for a Mercedes S-class with a chauffeur. C-class offers need not apply.
• One anus. In mint condition. Will succeed in any military check. All creases perfect. Not too dilated, not too constricted -- a pity or I would be producing diamonds from carbon up my arse. Constriction can be increased. Exit only, no entry. A great asset if you plan to go Greek.
• One vagina, recently reconstructed, in mint condition. No use for 18 years, too much use at different times. No use at
delivery. As tight as Uncle Scrooge. I have no need for it in the mad house I'm in.
• One lung, one only. I admit I smoked, but I stopped. Recently checked, excellent condition. I did not yell at this
Should any of these be of interest, please contact owner of this Anarchic Universe. After my death, I will gladly donate my heart of gold, or my heart of stone, depending on the viewer, my bowels of great capacity for I am full of s__t, my face, I am pretty. Anything goes. I need to send my son to college. You see, he goes to SAMOHI every day, he is a hardworking student, has high distractability and visual processing-syntactic disabilities but SMMUSD cannot pay for his tutorial. The money goes for a kid who didn't go to school, partied for a year or two and needs a boarding school my taxes are paying for.
"Such is life," Nelson Rodrigues used to say.