Dear Tinovska: Disgruntled Malibu Parent
Dear Tinovska:
My wife and I are desperate. We have three gorgeous li'l pumpkins who will be entering high school soon. One is a ninth grader, the other is a ninth grader, too. The third one is ... a ninth grader. We cannot break our anonymous status. Just let's say, for the sake of saying it, we are rich and famous.
We don't want our li'l munchkins to attend the local public school. There has been hazing in June, and there many stellar parents, more stellar than us. What should we do?
Signed,
Six-Pack Chest, Blond and Blue-Eyed
Dear Six-Pack Chest:
I'll bet you are from Missourah. Anyway, to your three little dahlings. Your best bet would be Santa Monica-Malibu USD. First, all you'd need would be for the chi-chi bouique school here in Santa Monica to open. I am sure your money can buy three spots in an elite public school. Besides, there's the fair weather friends, a similar ecology, and this new school won't have hazing or marching band or football. It'll have poor parents like you and Pretty Gina.
Another option would be La Cañada U.S.D. Mostly Asian students, stellar grades, lousy air. I know you are far from becoming a spacecadet or rocket scientist. How about your munchkins, how about their academic future?
The air sucks. Consider a contribution to thin out the air in La Cañada. Who knows, it might thin enough to launch an unmanned spacecraft right there at J.P.L. ? Think of it, again,
The grandeur of Rome, the glory of Greece, the recognition of your name in science!
Good luck to the five of you. May the force, ah, forget it.
Fondly,



















